Kati’s Tarot Sadow Challenge Day 3 – The High Priestess

Day three, The High Priestess – nursery, primary school teachers, female family members (like sister or nieces) apart from your mother and grandmothers. The first time we come in contact with women other than our mother (who ideally was the epitome of love this time) can be hard. They might act differently than we are used to with ‘mom’, and that can lead to confusion, disappointment or fear. If a teacher gives you punishment for something your mom would just smile on, it leaves a big scar. This is the first step to realize not everyone loves you unconditionally. Ask your cards: How did these women affect my Shadow? What part of me did they put there?
tarot, shadow, work, high priestess,

The Master of the Cup – How did these women affect my Shadow?

Through my sister I had to learn that I am not the centre of the universe – at least of my mother’s universe – and that sharing can be good, although I was not very happy to share my mother’s love and attention. I am the oldest child so for some time I have got all the attention and naturally it is hard to give that up. 
Through my teachers I had to learn to shut up, sit down and “drink my milk” even if it’s too hot -see how the cup has a cloud of steam rising from it… by this I mean obedience and listening, even if I know it is not exactly right. I was never brave enough to stand up for myself.

2. The Sphynx, The Mistress of the Cup and The Three Swords – What part of me did they put there?

Accepting that things change all the time is hard, and I guess I am afraid of change after all. I never though I was, but thinking about it now yes, I am uncomfortable with change.

The part of me that could say “no, I’d like to have this ice-coffee, thank you very much all the same!” The one that is not jumping to other’s tunes.

The fighting back part.

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Kati’s Tarot Shadow Challenge Day 2 – The Magician

Day two, The Magician – Childhood and teens. Today’s card looks at your self esteem, confidence and actions that have affected your Shadow during your childhood and teens. Ask your cards: How did my childhood and puberty affect my shadow? How did my self confidence evolve? What are the things that has become part of my Shadow this time?

My cards are: The Magician (hahaha) The Four of Swords, The Ace of Cups, the Five of Wands and the Hermit.
Root card: Death.

1. The Magi – How did my childhood and puberty affect my shadow?

The Magus/Magician is so full of self-confidence he is likely to burst. Exactly the opposit of my childhood self. I was shy, brainy, a bookworm; I quickly had to learn that studying too much will only get you bullied. I have soon stopped being openly brainy… a nice manifestation of the Magi’s deceptive, illusionist side. Based on this I’d say I have issues with showing off my knowledge and with my confidence in general.

2. The Four Swords – How did my self confidence evolve? 
I think we have explored this, hahaha! Actually I loved to perform. Competitions, school events, drama group… the only problem was that I always got soooo nervous that I couldn’t perform to the quality I would have liked. Till date if I have to defend my point of view I get nervous and forget everything I otherwise know by heart. 😀 So yeah… always second place.

3. The Cup, The Five Scepters and the Veiled Lamp – What are the things that have become part of my Shadow this time?
Intuition/spirituality, trust in myself and my abilities, the ability to teach others or share my knowledge.