This is my first attempt to journey into a card, and I didn’t expect it to happen this way…
I chose the Queen of Wands because of all the court cards she is the most distant stage of consciousness from where I am right now. She is the one I am not. And I need her energy to make myself evolve.
I always say how I dislike the RWS images, so although it would have been an obvious choice for the first journey I had to look for another deck’s queen. The one I like the most is Sinmara (sin-pale, mara-nightmare) wife of Surtr, the king of the fire giants in Norse mythology.
– Who are you? – she asks. I get confused. She should know who I am.
– I am the owner of the deck you are sitting in…
– I didn’t mean that. Loki* told you will come to talk to me and I should help you find yourself. So… Who are you really?
– I am a Queen of Pentacles with a lot of Cups’ treats if that helps.
– Then why come here? Why not to the other queens?
– Because I am scared of you. I am a scared little girl who is still afraid of so many things from the past.
– If that helps, think of me when you are scared next time. My husband is Surtr. It is terrifying to fight with him, still I have to do it time to time. – she laughs because she knows my husband is a King of Wands, just like hers. And that I hate to fight with him, just like she hates fighting with Surtr.
– Thank you, I guess… What is in your chest? I heard it’s a weapon.
– It is the mistletoe that killed Baldur.
– You have kept it with you? Why?
– To remind you dummy that even the smallest, most scaredy little girls can be utmost powerful in their own purpose, just like this innocent looking little twig has been. You are underestimating yourself so much you became weak. Don’t let others pull you down, girl! You have put some things down on the table and you should be proud of yourself!
-Thank you… I’ll come back. – I say, and I have to return to my little boy who is hungry again.
– You sure took your time!
-Sorry, I was busy. I hope you didn’t get bored?
– No, I was playing with Surtr’s cock. (I can’t believe I am actually writing this down)
– Aha…- I say, hoping she means the rooster sitting on the tree next to her.
– Since when are you so bashful? You used to make exellent jokes, but now you are so boring!
– Sorry, I… – and this is where I understood why I had to come to her. I did make quite ok jokes. I used to be funny and full of self confidence and laugh. But then things changed.
-Now I know why I had to come. Thank you for reminding me of my Queen of Wands self. I forgot about how to be like you.
– Just doing my job. Anything else?
– Why do I dislike the RWS QoW?
– ‘Cause she’s a bi**h.
– She would say the same of you.
– I guess. – and she laughs again. She is full of life, of magnetism. She is the woman I used to be and I want to get her back to attach her to my QoP existence. I say thank you and bid farewell then I step out of the card.
As I said before, I didn’t expect it to go this way, but it was an enlightening experience! I think I am going to like this journeying thing!
Your comments and feedback are very welcome as always.
* I chat to him often, so I’m not surprised. He is the Fool of this deck btw.